


Traitors

by Nicky_Gabriel



Series: My Brother, My King [3]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Friendship, Gen, Religious Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicky_Gabriel/pseuds/Nicky_Gabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan is the first one to find Aslan in her own world. Unfortunately that’s only one of her problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Traitors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candream/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fanarts: Traitors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179510) by [candream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candream/pseuds/candream). 



> Candream created amazing art for this story! Thank you so much!  
> You can find it here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4179510

England, 1949

Just because Susan Pevensie doesn’t like to fight, it doesn’t mean she can’t. She’s not only the Gentle Queen, but also a warrior Queen when needed; yet, there are battles that even she can’t win no matter which world the war is taking place in. Fighting against herself always leaves her a loser, and she doesn’t like losing. That’s why she’s leaving the Jacqmar Fashion House right now with a feeling of imminent disaster.

Today’s shift was hard. She had to deal with some of the most demanding customers. If she hadn’t dealt with more difficult diplomatic issues in the past, she would have just started screaming and run away. But she isn’t a quitter either, so she’s just concentrated on having lunch with her younger brother and dealt with all the obstacles the world threw under her feet. In a different world, she’s learnt to simply use the obstacles as stairs leading to whatever she wanted to achieve.

Unfortunately, the lunch left her really shaken.

Her siblings know she can’t talk about Narnia. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she’s already found what she was supposed to find in this world, and that’s her greatest problem, though it seems that she’s the only one actually _having_ a problem with that, however frustrating might that be. Only Edmund isn't holding it against her personally, and they still have lunch or dinner together every Thursday. Today is Thursday and Susan doesn’t know why it feels as if it was the last Thursday of her life. Or the first one?

She checks her purse and turns toward the bus stop. Her feet hurt, but she’s already switched high heels for some more comfortable shoes, and finally, she feels like herself.

Sometimes it’s like she’s a Queen even here. She has to wear what they tell her, she has to say what is expected from her, and she can’t spend as much time with her family as she would like to. Unfortunately, her parents need every penny after her father came back from war injured, and, having no university degree and no useful talents, it’s all she can do to help them. She can hardly make a living of archery and consular protocol. Taking evening classes twice a week is her only luxury, and she hopes to find a job in Civil Service as soon as possible. It doesn’t feel real, but nothing here is real. She’s getting there, though, because there is no coming back for her.

Susan sighs and walks slowly along the river, her meeting with Edmund still fresh on her mind.

*

_It’s their usual restaurant. Edmund likes it because the tapestry reminds him of the Great Hall at Cair Paravel. Susan thinks he’s right. Surely, as every week there’s a cat sleeping on the window sill. It's black as the night and its fur all shiny and velvety. The silence between the siblings is never uncomfortable, and Susan just enjoys their time together._

_“How do you stand it?” she asks once they have ordered and are waiting for the waitress to bring their lunch._

_“What?” Edmund turns from watching the cat._

_Susan looks at her hands, her manicure perfect, and bites her lip. “That...in Narnia, He was so close,” she whispers, meeting his eyes. She's tried to ask this question for weeks but never found enough courage to._

_Edmund winces and looks away. “It’s... the hardest part,” he admits. “But, well –” He looks up again with firely determination. “If He hadn’t wanted me to remember, He wouldn’t have saved me, right?”_

_Her confusion must be visible on her face, because Edmund continues, “I figure He only wanted us to **find** Him here in our world. We don’t actually have to give up the part of our lives that made us...us. He went to too much trouble to expect us to forget Narnia completely.”_

_Too much trouble... Susan frowns. That’s the problem._

_“I feel like...” she tries to explain. “I feel like...”_

_“A traitor?” Edmund finishes for her._

_She looks at him sharply. How..? “Ed!”_

_“It’s okay, Su.” Edmund reaches for her wrist and squeezes gently._

_For a long while they just sit in silence. She can’t say a world, because that’s exactly how she feels, and it’s not just being a traitor but also being the one betrayed, and it’s all just so confusing that she can’t understand it herself. That's why it took her so long to ask. Nonetheless, Edmund is right. He’s always right._

_“I know,” she says. “I just don’t know...which one of Them I’m betraying.”_

_Edmund is smiling now. It's his first really genuine smile. “Oh, Susan, you are not betraying anybody,” he says firmly._

_If so, why is she feeling so miserable thinking of Narnia?_

_“How do you know?” she asks._

_“Because He told me.”_

_“What?”_

_Edumnd grasps her hand between his own and says, “Su, how do you think I managed to be the Just King? He always told me what was right. It was my Christmas gift. All I had to do was listen. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes I didn’t listen... We both know how well that ended... but even here in England I can feel it! Once a King or Queen...you know how it works. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet...”_

_Susan bites her lip, fighting threatening tears. “It can’t be that easy.”_

_“It’s as easy as you let it be, sis.”_

_And she knows he believes it with his whole heart._

*

For the remaining of her shift she wondered if it was really that simple. Now, she gets to the bus stop five minutes ahead of time, and the feeling of danger is even stronger here. She’s certain her brothers shouldn’t be going to retrieve the rings, and this is most probably the source of the feeling. There is no doubt Edmund would try to stop Peter, but there’s only so much he can do. He would never go against the High King’s orders. Unless...

She freezes and almost drops her purse. Now she remembers why it feels so wrong! The rings were supposed to be hidden and forgotten, so nobody would use them ever again! There’s a reason why it was so, and Edmund knew that! That’s why he was so upset. Maybe if she tried and talked to Peter, she could have made him see that there was no point in going on with his plan? No, he wouldn’t listen to her more than he would listen to Edmund. If anybody had even a remote chance of succeeding, it was her younger brother. But it doesn't make it any easier.

The bus finally arrives; it’s almost empty at that hour. There’s just one man sleeping at the end corner, and there’s the usual driver behind the wheel. The driver greets her with a smile, but he knows better than to try and get her attention. At work she’s paid for flirting if the customers feel like flirting before they purchase the scarves and clothes she’s modeling for them, but when the shift is over, she’s back to being Susan Pevensie from Finchley, and Susan Pevensie doesn’t flirt unless she wants to, and she usually doesn’t want to. There are not many suitors who live up to her expectations anyway.

She takes a seat by the window, still thinking about Edmund. She’s felt the Magic lingering around him when he hugged her. She could sense it as could everybody who has ever visited Narnia, and that scared her. There is always a reason why humans are called to Narnia, and that reason is always dangerous. What could have happend there this time? Hopefully nothing what can't be undone. The presence of Magic was proof enough that her family truly must have encountered a visitor from their other home when they gathered last week.

She leans her forehead against the glass and sighs. She knows Peter, and she knows he wants to go back as much as they all do. She’s pretty sure he won’t use the rings after he retrieves them, if Edmund doesn’t manage to persuade him how stupid this idea actually is – but he will do anything to take over control of the situation. He is the High King, and Aslan wouldn’t have chosen him if it wasn’t in his nature to try to save the day whenever it needs saving.

Susan closes her eyes, remembering the Magic. She knows it’s not quite right to miss Narnia as much as she does, but she can’t help it. She should have already got over the past adventures, but the Gentle Queen is a part of her she can’t just give it up, however much she's trying. Giving up Narnia would mean giving up her family, and she doesn’t think she’s strong enough to make such a sacrifice. It feels as if she was losing them already, and if that hurts as much as she’s hurting, she doesn’t want to know what pain she would have to face if she’d actually lost them all.

The driver stops at the next bus stop, and somebody gets on, but Susan looks out the window, still clinging to the feeling that her lunch with Edmund left. Instead of fading, the Magic is getting stronger, and she’s fighting tears now, because the longing is worse than physical pain could ever be. It’s just like when she first touched the wardrobe at the Professor’s and like it was at the station before they returned to Narnia for the second time.

Susan bites her lip and shakes her head fighting the tears that threaten to fall. She's an adult! Why can't she just act like one? _Like a traitor..._ She can’t go on like that! She can’t live in two places at the same time.

It’s just so hard to give up on any of them.

The new passenger walks toward the back of the bus. She can see his blurry silhouette reflecting in the window. When he stops next to her seat and sits down, she turns to face him, determined to tell him with a sharp look that she’s not interested in any company, and...she meets the most golden eyes she’s ever seen in her life. Eyes she hasn’t dared to hope to see again.

*

"Asl..."

"Will you listen to Me, Susan?"

_“It’s as easy as you let it be, sis.”_

"I am."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fanarts: Traitors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179510) by [candream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candream/pseuds/candream)
  * [Róża](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091831) by [Nicky_Gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicky_Gabriel/pseuds/Nicky_Gabriel)




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